I realized something this weekend… I had been treating my house like a convenient hotel. Seriously, I pay my mortgage…so it wasn’t a free stay…but….
If you know me, you know that I am always doing SOMETHING. It’s for a good reason, but it still means that I am usually gone. I come to cook, eat, shower, play with my dog and sleep. Other than that… I am gone. I don’t usually study at home, to avoid the distraction of doing other things. When I have meetings, I usually try to be somewhere I can focus on the meeting, and not multitask – or I’ll be present but mentally absent. As an unmarried woman, I don’t keep people hanging around my house that I am uncomfortable with. Peace is priceless, destroying that isn’t something I am up for.
This one is for free: EVERYBODY SHOULDN’T BE HANGING IN YOUR HOUSE.
So… there are things that make it to my home…through time and space…that probably should have been donated, trashed, or repurposed. But on the go doesn’t leave a lot of time to declutter. Now, I clean, straighten, stack and the like… but I started stumbling across an old compact disc collection, old pictures, old poems, things that were framed that honestly were collecting dust. For only the second time in eight years… I open the windows, wiped down the window seal, and sat and stared outside. My second story window has quite a peaceful view. I aired out the room that held memories and books, pictures, and opportunity.
Subconsciously, I felt like I disrespected the space I worked so hard to get. I began to shift my thoughts to a prayer of gratitude. One, thanking God for the moment to slow down and realize my error. Secondly, I thanked him for the space I was in. There is something deep about that moment. I was simultaneously speaking with my sister who is in another state. We laughed about how different the climates were… but we also hit a really, really, powerful moment. I said something like this, “2020 forces transparency in a place shame probably used to hitchhike in my life.”
There it is folks. When you stop long enough to pay attention… God is speaking clearly to you. I am a Jesus girl…through and through… but I can also be hardheaded. I’ll admit that. I can hear Him tell me to slow down and I can feel the rebuttal bubble up in my spirit. I hear it from my friend… (Hello Nyke)… and from my family (Hi Mom). I am not going to stop walking in purpose… but I am going to get back to my “getcholife” days. I am going to stop treating the house I prayed for, like a hotel I just stay at. I am working to make the peace I feel visually apparent. My eclectic taste is coming to my space – cue purple Livingroom end tables. More on that later. More green. Living green plants – that I have been nurturing for a year, and silk plants that will always keep me at peace – without the watering issue. I have been catching rainwater to feed my plants… the stuff from the faucet makes them wilt faster. (Message) I am making small consistent changes so that the space I occupy looks more like me – and not my Brown Twin.
In life we select our choices. If we are not careful, subconsciously… we will repeat what we have seen with little regard for why we did that. The why is just as important as the method. I love my mom’s taste… she could buy my clothes forever… but our design and room aesthetic is different. For example… my mom loves lace doilies. I don’t. Not that I hate how my mother does things, I just do them differently. That’s a word… insert a praise clap…God uniquely designed YOU to be an original. Don’t die a clone.