Sometimes, I wonder what people receive when I blog. Then reality gives me a one, two combination to the jaw (Sorry, I just watched a boxing movie). I am only responsible for what I give. What people receive is up to them. Removing that burden, with a clear heart and clean hands, is a workout. I am willing to consistently work “this” out every day of my life.
(my) Life isn’t based on trends. If it were, I would be in a constant world-wind. Nothing is constant about trends, but change. Life is about consistency and foundation. If a house is beautiful with manicured lawns, attractive square-footage and equity, yet it doesn’t repair the hairline fracture in its foundation, it’s trash with a deadline. Over time, it is the hairline fracture that will cause shifts, slides, cracks and the need for costly repairs. The pretty lawns and equity are a waste without a strong foundation. Such is life.
Who am I at my core?
I am a young woman with a solid understanding of one thing: I don’t have all of the answers. I do have a lot of questions. I am inquisitive to a fault by some people’s standards. However, their measuring stick doesn’t reach this far. I learn through questioning. That would be akin to my love for science. I also push, challenge, and walk through given restrictions. THAT, would be the artist in me. I am like fire and water. Two elements that do not mix without completely changing the environment surrounding them. I analyze and synthesize. I question and create. I am not “deep” on purpose, I am just me. I am an anomaly to some. I am obtuse to others, literally. I am righteous to no one. By no standard am I perfect. I realized my faith matured…when I had to use it.
When conventional thinking ceased to lead my thoughts, and a Hebrews 11:1 transition happened in my head, I knew growth. I couldn’t see the solution, I just believed it was working out for my good, and His glory. I did not expect to make it through some things as well as I did. I said good-bye to my father, I walked away from a relationship that imploded with little-to-no tears, and I learned how to love people who were hard to love.
I love. I am a walking, talking miracle. I have not had a hard life, but I have known hard times.
Who are YOU, at your core?
Many people exist in a suspended state. They are always looking for the next thing. The next love interest. The next job. The next paycheck. The next big break. The next becomes the carrot and the chase. The now becomes the forgotten and the frustration. We are more dependent on capturing a moment, than living it. We will text the person next to us to avoid conversation. We will avoid the unknown for fear of rejection. We argue subliminally via multiple social media platforms. We will shield ourselves from the unknown, simply because we don’t really know, what we know.
I am focused on love. I am happier there. I am a giver fulfilled there. It’s not because there aren’t many other things that I could focus on. I choose THIS hairline fracture. If contractors can use foam to fix a foundation, surely I can use love to live. You can not -ology love in a hypothesis, dissertation, or marriage certificate. You live it. You give it. And if God is who I know He is, you receive it.
If you can get the foundation right, the rest will actually matter.
Happy New Year.