In a lot of ways, our lives and our schedules are a reflection of how we see ourselves. The choices that we make usually determine the things we do. When we overbook ourselves, jumbled rushing thoughts are usually present. When we de-clutter our minds…usually we de-clutter schedules as well. Sometimes, we have to put everything down….
I often try to figure out which gift should be in the spot light in this season. I’m not sure if I am alone in this, or not. I have been blessed to be both gifted and talented in many areas. The Father is strategic in His gift giving. I have always had a nack for speaking, writing, and singing, crafting (or almost anything art-sy), dance, and leadership. Obviously, the performance arts usually garner a lot of attention because they can be easily observed. The others have to have a platform. In church, I have sang in choirs and praise teams, taught classes, choreographed and lead praise dancers, coordinated programs, manned a prayer post as an intercessor, and even had deep theological conversations with my childhood pastor (Reverend Ronnie Linden) with my biblical curiosities. (I was the kid that complained because I would have to die and the Lord called at least two men up to heaven without having to experience death. Now…two men also have to return during the last days…the book of Revelations shut my complaint down!) I would get done with one project and move to another. It never seemed consistent. Quite annoying, it really is, to never really feel cohesive and focused. I would excel and then switch.
My work life, much the same. I have worked at a supervisor at a parking facility, branch manager trainee of a HMAC company, freelance make up artist, teacher, cashier, graduate student (yes, that is work) and for free – I dream.
Seriously, this pattern-less existence used to irk my nerves. BADLY. Today, however, things began to make sense. It was only when I stepped back and allowed God to be God and lead, that the dots began their connection journey. Each job had deposited an experience or lesson I needed to learn. Each different place also connected me with people I would have never met otherwise. Without the experience of ABC then XYZ wouldn’t be possible. (Ha! Never imagined algebra would come in handy!) Although, I still can’t ever tell you what I should focus on, I know to ask God and WAIT.
I think the word WAIT is the most feared four letter word ever created. WAITing means there is no immediate gratification or confirmation. WAITing means actually TRUSTing God. You know, the verb – something you do. Today’s client (with my make up artist hat on) was a joy to be around. Additionally, she brought her sister with her. An equally awesome joy, she is a valuable person to have met. In the time it took for my bride-to-be client to pose for a few cell phone pictures, I discovered that the sister is a business consultant. Both are active in ministry, and one in fitness, and we have a lot in common. What an amazing experience to be in the presence of purpose driving women. Although no true heavy conversations commenced, because we discovered we could talk for hours, I can’t wait to see what God does with this new connection/network.
I would love to give you some pristine formula for trusting God and knowing what to do next. The only thing I have for you is the following:
“Trust is a Verb”
Take a deep breath, ask, listen, wait, then let your actions = obedience.