Joy Killer: a culprit you can control.

It’s been heavy on my heart to share something with you. I used to seek opportunities to meet people who had “made it” in a certain arena to ask them if I was good enough. For example, I have met a lot of people in the music and makeup industries. I would sing for people, or share song snippets, NOT to break into the industry, but for validation of my gift. I didn’t publicize it, parade it around, or abuse any contacts but I kept searching for more validation.

The positive “yes”never seemed like it was enough.

With makeup, I compared my work to the work of the popular artists of social media. I would look at their work with both an eye of admiration and an eye of scrutiny. Questioning wether or not my work should look like theirs. THEN, I would go to industry events, receive compliments, and not be able to receive them. The industry greats that I have encountered didn’t see the minimal likes on Instagram or the less than 1,000 likes on my fan page. Because of that, I just could t receive from them. Insane!

All of this, while praising God for what I had accomplished. Lifting each gift to Him for His glory. Have you realized the HUGE error of my ways?

One: Without faith it is impossible to please God. Don’t believe me? Go check out Hebrews 11:6.

I couldn’t simply ask God to favor the gifts He hand picked just for me. I had to believe that it had already happened. I had to believe that I was already enough.

Two: I had NO BUSINESS comparing Andonnia to anyBODY. 2 Corinthians 10:12. I have heard the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy” (Theodore Roosevelt) and it still hadn’t hit me. The one who could validate me already had. I spent so much time scrutinizing my work, that I didn’t see my growth. I am a believer that there is value in mentorship and constructive critique, but not in beating yourself up because you don’t produce like anyone else. Hello… Earth to me! Shucks, HEAVEN TO ME!

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. (‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭13-14‬ NLT)

The truth is, we are not supposed to measure up. We will never equate to God and we are uniquely an individual. We should appreciate the greatness we produce and celebrate the greatness that others produce.

We have journeys that may seem similar, but in fact they are VERY different. Much like our fingerprints, our gifts are ours alone.

Today, I celebrate my journey and all of its nuances. I also celebrate you!

Authentically Yours,

Ivy Out


By Andonnia

I am the King's daughter. I am my parents' daughter, a godmother, an aunt, a niece, a sister, a soror, a listener, a hearer & doer, a philanthroservant, a writer, a student, a teacher, a live-right enthusiast, a fail forward live-er, a business woman, a woman after God's heart! ~iLove~

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