I believe in transparency. I do. Therefore, this blog is laced with it. I didn’t mean for this to be the next post, but emoting wilt taketh over thy blogeth. (Yes. All of that.)
I failed as a giver today. Correction, I failed (again) as a receiver. Someone that I am cool with at work gave me a gift that I didn’t feel comfortable receiving. Now, without going through an enormous amount of questions, it was a Valentine’s Day card with two gift cards inside. I took one look at the gift card amount (total) and immediately plotted to return that part. It made me uncomfortable that a co-worker would spend this much on me…period. It didn’t dawn on me… the light bulb didn’t go off… and no red flags went up on how my co-worker would feel. I spoke to someone on theteam as a consultant and that was my first smoke signal that this may be trouble. Well. When I actually returned them today, I felt both really weird and really relieved. There was relief because it was received, it was weird because I don’t think it was positive. I don’t care how I tried to explain my discomfort, compare it to gifts received by others in the past, or the instinct in my gut the coworkers face and eyes were like bullets.
Reflection: I haven’t made as much progress as I should have by now with “The Giver Learning How To Receive”. I still question random gifts. I can overanalyze something to smithereens. I will pray about this. ‘Cause I full-well-expect the Mister (who is out there somewhere, right? LOL) to speak my love language (Words of Affirmation and Gifts), but it isn’t a regular thing in my life. I am going to have to get the kinks out. Seriously. I don’t know how to fix the above situation. I can only pray. About my own disposition, I can pray. Reflection is beasty. Have you been to the “Mirror Ministry” lately? Why don’t you visit it and then share your reflection…or not.