At the end of the semester, many people post grades and testimonies. It’s a time to jump up and down and celebrate great grades and awesome effort, for some. Right now is not one of those times for me. Why did I lead with that? Because I don’t ever want to be unauthentic. I got my first C this semester, in graduate school. I had two classes and I got a C and an A-.
Let me tell you why I can still praise God…
The class I got the A- in, I originally took four years ago. When I first started my program, too green to be in this particular seminar, I took the class and ended up gracefully accepting the I. For those who are unfamiliar, that means incomplete. That incomplete meant I had a year to retake the course to remove that grade. The problem was that I wasn’t equipt for that class yet, my masters degree was in sociology. Therefore, I had to take leveling courses geared toward preparing me for the counseling coursework to come. In sum, I was able to register but didn’t possess the requisite information needed.
Honestly… almost five years into this program, I am tired of school. YES, this happens. It doesn’t just happen in high school or in undergraduate programs. I am HONEST. 99% of the time, you can catch truth like “these hands” aka urban threats commonly circulated on social media. While I use humor to lift the load, I am serious. 100% serious. (Throwing percentages around like NYE confetti.)
School is draining. Growth can hurt sometimes, you know? I’ve said this before, circa almost every other blog post, but ask a mother about pregnancy. The truth about it. The part that doesn’t show up dressed and primped for the baby shower. When I had some candid discussions with family and friends, pregnancy wasn’t so glamorous. However, no one regretted the life they were nurturing.
I don’t regret the doctoral degree, but this is the tough part. Close enough to the end to see an end in sight, and far enough away to realize I can’t snooze. I got an A- in a class I retook years later and I am grateful it’s no longer an I. I welcome the A-. I am grateful for grace.
The C was in research, insert your opinion *here*. Honestly, I still have work to do in that area, after taking the second research course in my program. I’m not defeated. Getting through the class means I can now work on the purpose that the class listed as a required course in the first place: the dissertation. My professor always said you learn research by doing, now I get to do. I get to sit down with him, other experts, graduates, and people who can see outside of my frame and work on the project set to launch my career. I thank God for this C too. It will be the last one I get… I have two classes left, the rest of my practicum hours, my comprehensive exam (*Insert dramatic movie theme music here*), and then my dissertation. I refuse to be ABD (All but dissertation), so I have to internalize learning when I don’t win. Let that settle in your spirit. Am I alone here? (No…no I’m not)
Lesson One that 2017 taught me… how to learn and live to tell about it.
I will be sharing several posts about my growth moments in 2017 and share some lessons from some awesome sisters in my life. Stick with me… we will take greatness into 2018, together.
Sis. Stacy – “How did God grow you in 2017”
Time for most will come with change. As for me, 2017 is the year of ignition. A few years prior I wouldn’t have ever imagined a life as such. I aimlessly wandered my world of pity, guilt, anger and resentment. Yes, I believed in God, yet he wasn’t my Lord. My spiritual growth was impeded by distractions. Friends, football tournaments and everything in between. Then all at once I was mentally and physically exhausted. I had to say ENOUGH! I asked myself, Did God bring you this far for you to live this? It took me quite some time to get my life in order. I finally accepted my boyfriend’s proposal, set a date. I immediately went into my CLOSET for absolute concentration. I got on my knees and prayed for forgiveness, direction, and mercy. For the first time in my life, I finally accepted that belief and forgiveness are one in the same. I didn’t grow up in a household with God first. Sad to say at 43 there’s a plethora of God’s word that I don’t know although I will continue to grow in Christ as long as I have breath in me.