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life

Grief. exhale.

There are times in our lives when we question our own strength. There are challenges that rise up, seemingly, as insurmountable obstacles. While I may only have graced this earth for thirty-four years, I can share my experiences with anyone willing to receive them. The hardest challenge that I’ve faced is losing my SUPER-Dad. Now, for those new to this narrative, my SUPERDad (step-dad for those who use that term) was a superhero. Three years ago TODAY he had two strokes, was life-flighted to St. Luke’s in the medical center in Houston, and underwent brain surgery. That same day, the surgeon -with ZERO bedside manner, told us that he didn’t think my father would make it after surgery. HE DID.

That was the beginning of a 43-day journey to May 7, 2015, when the Lord ultimately called my SUPERDad back home. It hurts like hell, still. There are things I wish I could call and tell my daddy. There are times I just want to lay in his arms and smile because he always smiled. There are award and accolades I wish I could share, programs I want to invite him to, holidays I wish I could still share, but I can’t. Not in a physical sense. I do know that my father watches over me, but there are times when it’s harder to digest that he is physically gone.

This isn’t a bait and pull. I ‘m transparent. It’s my way of life. I am hurting today. However, I also rejoice because I know where Daddy is. I pull every smile, selfie saved, and memory cherished during moments like these. I remember wisdom he shared with me. I remember the last time he told me he was proud of me. And finally, I recall what I promised him. I promised him that we would be ok. That I would take care of my mom and my brother. I will continue to live out that promise. So even in my pain, I remember the gold lining that my day left imprinted on my life. He was gold. He was light. He is my angel.

If you are grieving ANYTHING that was relevant and special to you, please hear this:

  1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your grief. It’s not cookie-cutter, and it doesn’t fit into a neat package. If it becomes something that is too heavy to bear alone, please seek therapy. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, it means you’re smart enough to get a “spotter” for the “weight”.
  2. Moments come, let them. You don’t get over these moments, you get THROUGH them.
  3. The good times are stronger than the ones that hurt, you can carry those anywhere you are.
  4. You are not alone. God, Your support system, and me… you’ve got all of us. As much as we drive ourselves to isolate during these times, too much isolation is actually bad. When in doubt, reach out.
  5. You are loved. More than you can know or ignore – YOU ARE LOVED.

I hate to have these messages to share, but I love that I can share them. I freely express myself because someone might not have the strength to. We will heal. We are healing…moment to moment.

 

IVY OUT

By Andonnia

I am the King's daughter. I am my parents' daughter, a godmother, an aunt, a niece, a sister, a soror, a listener, a hearer & doer, a philanthroservant, a writer, a student, a teacher, a live-right enthusiast, a fail forward live-er, a business woman, a woman after God's heart! ~iLove~

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