Recovering Control Freak…

What a title. I can admit it, I like to be in control of what is happening in my life. (Abba,) Can I at least KNOW what’s happening in my life? If I am the only one,  I understand. However, I strongly doubt that I am.

I feel more comfortable when I can predict certain things. We use all kind of sensory data to figure out what to do next, what the market is doing, what our budgets *or should be budget* will allow, and the ball drops when it comes to people. We can’t predict what the next person will do. People: the governors of choice, the finders of the way, the marchers of their own drums… don’t always follow neat little patterns. Guess what, we are people. You and I. We change our mind, we forget things, we err, we live and breathe and smile and shift.

All of the above stated…What’s wrong with a little control? It lacks FAITH. I can’t predict God’s hand. I simply can’t.

Isaiah 55:8-9 English Standard Version (ESV)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

If I TRUST God the way I say I do, then I have to be ok with NOT KNOWING. Especially since my thoughts can’t match His….right?!

….insert freak out emoji….


(Sarcastic scolding: Andonnia – Haven’t you blogged about trusting God before? What’s so hard about it this time??

Me: Have you ever heard a weird noise in your house or car? Yes? Did you freak out? Had you heard a weird noise before, that indicated maintenance needed? Yes, ok. )


Seriously, I wish I could report to you all the times before God delivered exactly what I needed when I released control to Him… but it’s happened more times than I can count. Did that stop me from worrying my eyes out this week? NOPE. Maturity will always reveal weakness as well as growth. Did God send messages via sermons and conversations and scripture and memories…yes. But I had to surrender control back to Him. (Just me? Ok! lol)

FEAR can paralyze you. The FEAR of the unknown can lead to ANXIETY. Why do I mention these? They happen. TJ Jakes and Pastor J once said,” Fear can be in the car, it just can’t drive”. Here’s the Andonnia remix: IF you leave fear in a place long enough, it will get brazen and take the wheel. My perspective comes from this… what we comfortable with becomes something we allow without a critical eye. Take house cleaning for instance. If I am comfortable with a pair of shoes randomly on the floor… pretty soon it will be joined by others. Once I step back and really evaluate the situation, I am also picking up a pile of shoes. (Maybe that’s just my house, lol) Fear must be evaluated. Where is this really coming from. Fear is symptomatic. For me, the past few months or so, a situation took me out of my comfort zone. It required trusting God. It required allowing God to be God and Andonnia to focus on the things God assigned to my RIGHT NOW. You see, God did give me plenty to do, fix, accomplish, and study. However, this ONE thing…that’s  His business. Just because I know something, it doesn’t mean that I am equipped to effect that thing. Sometimes God gives us front row seats to His glory. Don’t believe me… Gideon.

I think we are related. I preached about that guy a few weeks ago. Guy didn’t believe he could do what God assigned for him to do. It looks impossible.

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 ESV

While Gideon didn’t have the New Testament to pull from… He did have God on His side. God was merciful enough to send confirmation after confirmation. Seriously.. Take a look at Judges 6-8. I get like that sometimes God.

“God if you could be so kind as to confirm…. for me.” Followed by another confirmation request…and sometimes another. (Confession is good for the soul).

The reality is, His word was good the first time. When I don’t see the circumstance from the right perspective, and its alllll out of my control, I start to freak out. UNTIL I remember who is ALWAYS in control. Until I pay attention to the fact that my Good Good Father will always take care of whatever IT is.

I’m a recovering-undercover-worryer… I am releasing control because He is always in control. And from this place, I can guarantee one thing: attempting control is exhausting. lol

What are you releasing today?

Ivy Out

By Andonnia

I am the King's daughter. I am my parents' daughter, a godmother, an aunt, a niece, a sister, a soror, a listener, a hearer & doer, a philanthroservant, a writer, a student, a teacher, a live-right enthusiast, a fail forward live-er, a business woman, a woman after God's heart! ~iLove~

2 replies on “Recovering Control Freak…”

Good article hun!

Sheridan Labbe *Owner* *Southern Kouture* *PR, Marketing, Events & Communications* (832) 779-6645

On Tue, Aug 7, 2018 at 3:07 PM, Andonnia’s Truth wrote:

> Andonnia posted: “What a title. I can admit it, I like to be in control of > what is happening in my life. (Abba,) Can I at least KNOW what’s happening > in my life? If I am the only one, I understand. However, I strongly doubt > that I am. I feel more comfortable when I can p” >

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