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life

Victory Music

 Image

 

When you finally complete the projects on your to-do list, you silently wait for the fan fair to play. Well I do.

 Prior to today, I really thought my list was impossible. The thing is, I wasn’t prepared to lie down and accept defeat. My life has been filled with opportunities to rebound, and this week was one of them. My current stage of employment is that of survival. Assess how you will; it’s quite possible that I got in over my head. I’ve been placed in situations that I wouldn’t dream up for my worst enemy. The most difficult part of my job is how it affects me personally. I care about each of my students, and the people who grace my environment daily. Reciprocity doesn’t happen at my job. As with any job in education, delayed gratification is eminent. I am well aware of this delay, as I have been in this field for four years. What I was not prepared for was the physical drain. Flux blood pressure numbers, a couple of private battles with dehydration, physical stressors, mood swings, and a super potent prayer life that was activated by reaction. Was I always a pray-er, yes. Is it on steroids now, yes. Am I mad about it, no. 

I am not always calm when it comes to mountains, but I’ve been speaking to quite a few of them. In Mark 11:23, Jesus tells us that we have the power to speak to a mountain and tell it to MOVE. The key… belief. In the beginning of this semester I began grad school, again. I knew that my current employment had been different, but not extremely difficult at that point. I’ve ALWAYS had another business, and somewhat of a social and ministry life. What I didn’t realize was the effect this semester’s gumbo was going dish out. (Subliminally, I think I want my mom to make gumbo…how to ask…) This particular job in education goes beyond classroom teaching. I have been stretched in a way that I can’t return from. I will take this years experiences and port them with me where ever I go. I have enough scriptures on my wall to write a “How to Speak to your Job” devotional. I will collect the triumphs and file them as victories once June 6th arrives. Until then, I have to keep fighting.

Like this week’s “to done” list, I have to belief that the mountains will move. Are you facing the impossible this week? Remind yourself of some of the things God has gotten you through in the past. If you can’t, I can tell you a few things He’s gotten me through if you’d like. Why, because He’s the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He was a deliverer for Daniel, Moses, Aaron, Sampson, Gideon, David, and for Andonnia. Broken apart, impossible is really I’m Possible (punctuation is everything!). With God, it’s possible. WE will file this week under victory! Who’s with me? (::insert fan fair here:J

 

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life

Quickly!

Today was rough… kept asking God to help… HE did. It was a whisper though, not a loud shout. Sometimes we pray louder than the answer and forget to listen for the “still small voice”. Guilty, ::raises hand::. 

Fill your time with a conversation with God. That requires silence at some point. 

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life

My road, my purpose, my walk

Who’s feet are you washing?

John 13:14-15 was the daily scripture that came across my screen this morning. I kept reading it over and over and over, these red words of Christ. He showed us an example of service by washing His disciples’ feet.

In the days of our Lord there were no luxury red bottoms, no NIKE sneakers, and no paved roads. They didn’t travel in Benzes, Beamers, or even Cadillacs, they walked. In my imagination, and thanks to the Bible series- my memory, I can visualize the Savior and the twelve apostles dredging through mixed terrain in open sandals. For Christ to wash these feet… With whatever smell, whatever injury, whatever deposit, whatever dirt, we must also take care to discard condition and serve. We have to look past the rock and see the gem. We have to see through the coal to the diamond, realize the value of oil, and shuck the shell to reveal the pearl.
Some of us touch many, and cringe. Some of us touch many an remember. Jesus has washed us too. (And if we are honest…we are still being washed daily!)

Wake up and serve. Ask God to show you who you will serve today. Each day… Move closer to or in your purpose. Damascus isn’t the only road of conversion…walk your road.

Humbly submitted,

::one with dirty feet and clean hands::
Ivy Out

Categories
life

My road, my purpose, my walk

Who’s feet are you washing?

John 13:14-15 was the daily scripture that came across my screen this morning. I kept reading it over and over and over, these red words of Christ. He showed us an example of service by washing His disciples’ feet.

In the days of our Lord there were no luxury red bottoms, no NIKE sneakers, and no paved roads. They didn’t travel in Benzes, Beamers, or even Cadillacs, they walked. In my imagination, and thanks to the Bible series- my memory, i can visualize the Savior and the 12 apostles dredging through mixed terrain in open sandles. For Christ to wash these feet… With whatever smell, whatever injury, whatever deposit, whatever dirt, we must also take care to discard condition and serve. We have to look past the rock and see the gem. We have to see through the coal to the diamond, realize the value of oil, and shuck the shell to reveal the pearl.
Some of us touch many, and cringe. Some of us touch many an remember. Jesus has washed us too. (And if we are honest…we are still being washed daily!)

Wake up and serve. Ask God to show you who you will serve today. Each day… Move closer to or in your purpose. Damascus isn’t the only road of conversion…walk your road.

Humbly submitted,

::one with dirty feet and clean hands::
Ivy Out

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life

My Easter Victory

My Easter Victory

WARNING: This is a very personal and transparent entry. If you don’t care to venture into that part of my honesty, click the “X” at the top of the right hand corner. I won’t even know;)

Easter Sunday, known to those in the Christian faith as Resurrection Sunday. It’s the day we celebrate Jesus Christ rising up! He defeated the cross, death, and sin. My salvation’s cornerstone is the Resurrection of Christ. My life however, also pays tribute to this day via a milestone. Thirteen years ago on Easter Sunday morning, I plotted to take my own life. My family had been going through a rough patch as it related to my child support/custody case. I spent part of my life with my mom’s side of the family and part with my bio-dad’s family. During the holidays, as most visitation laws agree, I alternated where I would be. This was the year to be with my bio-dad’s family, however my mom bought my Easter suit. It was a yellow two-piece skirt suit. I will never forget that because it was partially a part of the tipping point. My mother and grandmother are both brown skinned.  My mother grew up under the mantra that you wore black undergarments underneath your clothing. My grandmother came from the school of thought that said you wore white underneath your clothing. (I now know that because of my melanin, I wear nude) Since my mother bought my suit, she bought black to go underneath. As I got dressed on Easter morning, I go into it with my grandmother. She said something I will never forget. She said I looked like a whore because I had black underneath my suit. I cried as if my heart had been ripped out. I figured, ok, if I wasn’t here…everyone would be happier. Thus the plot to kill myself began. I grabbed the half full class of water and my old pain pills and went into my uncle’s room. I sat on the bed and continued crying.  Right before I swallowed a half a bottle of prescription Ibuprofen a song by Greg O’Quinn came on the radio, “I told the storm”. I stopped in my tracks, fell to my knees and prayed. I promised God that I would never take what He gave to me away. I was reassured that day that no matter what comes, God will help me endure and persevere.  I didn’t tell the one person I am going to make sure reads this post…but he (my Uncle Dwight) actually walked in while I was praying. He didn’t know what was going on. No one did. The song washed over me and arrested my plans. It’s as if the Holy Spirit intervened with the one medium that always moves me, music. I was in choir by age three or four, singing solos by six, and I began hiding my voice after I graduated from High School. (I do sooo many other things, which no one will let me do if they find out I sing)

The point is this: I TOLD MY STORM 13 YEARS AGO, IT WOULD NOT CONSUME ME. Today represents the day our Savior, Jesus the Christ, defeated sin for YOU AND ME. Nothing in your past can break you, nothing in your present situation can defeat you, and your future is ALREADY LOOKING BETTER. I will share the link to the song that ministered to me that day. I hope you realize the SON makes it brighter for us all.

I didn’t tell my mother until my senior year, and she made me promise that I would never again consider taking my own life. I never told my uncle. Publically, Uncle D: I am sorry for not sharing this with you. I carried this around a long time before I began to share it. I was saved by the ONE who saves!

Triumphant,

IVY OUT

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life

Speak life-SHOW love

The seriousness of our words are catastrophic. We can build or destroy with very few letters.
Most people remember very little from their childhood, but it’s near impossible for them to wipe negative words from the fabric of their life. Unfortunately once words are said, you can apologize, but not erase them. Unlike an unsent text message or email, we can’t take words back. It’s so dangerous that even the words that we say to ourselves are fatal.
The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. (Proverbs 18:21 NLT)

That wasn’t placed in the Bible for us to ignore. I have to constantly remind myself to guard my tongue. Furthermore, I constantly ask God to guard my tongue and my mind/heart. Natural habits need SUPERnatural assistance to be broken. Ask GOD to put his SUPER on your natural and work at it. Be on purpose with your speech. Know that your words CAN HURT OR HEAL.

Speak life. Show love.

IVY OUT

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life

The Nineveh Experience

I have heard the story of Jonah a million times, but I can’t tell you how many times I read it for myself. I know I’m not alone. Most people take the word of credible people instead of getting an understanding from a personal level. Beyond that, I remember reading it, only this time I got a completely different revelation. 

I have been Jonah a few times. I would always get stuck with the boat to fish experience until today. I asked, “What happened when he got to Nineveh?” I couldn’t remember. So instead of going to the commentary, I went to THE BOOK. Literally, (insert big grin here).  I am going to share the Nineveh experience through my eyes, praying that God speaks to you personally through my words.

1)    Everybody around you, who doesn’t believe what you believe, isn’t out to get you. This seemingly can be difficult to digest for some. The sailors on that boat were going where they set out to go. Apparently they all believe in several different things. They knew that Jonah was running from God, because he told them (Jonah 1:10 NLT), but their initial thought was to save everyone involved. How do I know? In verse twelve, Jonah TELLS them to throw him overboard. What did they do? They started rowing against the storm. To push that point even further, they ended up praying to God, when they realized his solution was the only option left.

 2)    I could continue to deal with the entire…. “who on God’s earth has been able to successfully run away from God….(not one anybody)…” but that would be an entirely different post. I could even deal with questioning, “How in the world did he get to sleep? Sound Sleep!?!”. But again, that would take another blog. But I will submit: Sometimes your SITUATION is what brings others to God. Once they witnessed the power of God (controlling the start and stop of this violent storm), they begin to believe. Their conversion came when the waves subsided (Jonah 1: 14-16). Storms don’t come to last, they come to pass. Pass it did, bringing along a new bunch to the kingdom. Don’t forget that God is sovereign. He can use any part of your mess for a message! (and by YOUR, I mean MINE! I don’t claim to be put together perfectly…)

 3)    In Jonah 2:10, God orders the fish to spit Jonah out on the beach. From three days and nights in the mess to dry land. It doesn’t mentioning the fish hesitating, rebutting, or refusing. History tells us that it is very seldom that beached whales survive. God can do the miraculous. He doesn’t fit in our box. Jonah’s situation served our savior when mentioned in a parable later. This parable serves us as well. After you come out, you will be placed in a dry place. That doesn’t always mean a barren place. When you have been drowning in water, the sight of dry land alone brings joy.  Jonah was delivered from the belly of the fish in three days, our savior was delivered from the grave in three days.

 4)    When Jonah gets to Nineveh, finally the message. Jonah’s message wasn’t a happy shout. His message wasn’t sweet greetings and prosperity. Apparently, Nineveh wasn’t a moral hot spot. He brought a message of despair and destruction. This message: “FORTY DAYS from now Nineveh will be destroyed!” I could deal with the significance of forty days…but in another post. Unlike the people of Nineveh, who believed at once, I have rebutted messages of destruction.  If you open your mouth again Andonnia… If you do this, he’ll do that. You probably should slow down. You’re moving too fast. Did you think about? I have seen warning flares attached to warnings given to me. My cyclical self didn’t listen the first time. (MESSAGE) Even more powerful, in verse five the people acquiesced and began to fast and pray. In verse six, the KING got the message. He HEARD what Jonah was saying and stepped down from his thrown to fast and pray. When you’re carrying the message of God in obedience, it gets the attention of the high and the low. The king obviously feared the Lord enough to declare both humans and animals would fast. They were seeking the Lord’s mercy. It worked, God spared Nineveh, and then Jonah pitched a tantrum.

5)    Have you ever seen, personally experienced, or watched someone get mad at God’s mercy? I have. Easy to identify after the fact, I have been Jonah many times. The word says Jonah was angry and complained. God has delivered you from the storm/fish/death, sustained you while you delivered a message, responded to the people’s repentance, and you have the audacity to complain? Yea, we do it. We pray for a job, spouse, house, child, blessing… get it…and then find something wrong with it. Better yet, someone else gets the blessing we’ve been praying for. (*cue bitterness*) Not only does this poor prophet complain he starts requesting death.  I began to give Jonah the side eye right here. I have complained, travailed, cried out, but I’m not requesting the final curtain call. (God still spared him –mercy)

6)    Before teaching Jonah a powerful lesson, God asked, “Is it right for you to be angry about this?” Instead of the Almighty granting emotional requests, instead of punishing the activity, He asks a question. God gives us opportunities to redeem ourselves out of our muck. Jonah 4:5-11 just brought me to tears. God’s response to Jonah’s tirade about the “shady plant” that died, that he didn’t plant, that he didn’t water, but only enjoyed, reminded me that selfishness has many forms. God can be merciful for even a nation in spiritual darkness. They turned to Him and He responded. Nineveh gives us hope for these times. Jonah gives me hope that God’s mercy still covers me: mess-ups and all.

 Ivy Out

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life

Jesus is the original remix..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYCl9FEnxFk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

God is BIG. God is PEACE. Jesus is REAL. Testimony. We are going to be ok. Faith. ( Playing in the background is Kierra Shierd’s “Indescribable” )

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life

Simply put…

I am confident that emotions without discipline isn’t pleasing to anyone..including God. As a woman I am prone to being emotional (and extra at times). While emotions can serve me well, they can also imprison me. When they get out of hand, I usually end up having a real, candid, and blunt conversation with God. We are open books to the Father, no need to hide anything from Him. Trust me, I don’t attempt to. I have found some areas of my life that God is still pruning in my life. **newsflash** There will be areas God is working on until I meet Him in glory. That’s the flesh life… no one is perfect. However, I am clearly working on keeping a bridle on these emotions. Especially matters of the heart. We are surrounded daily by what seems like love and when reality sets in…we discover lust, infatuation, smoke and mirrors, and disappointments. Usually these are in relationships we thought were perfect…none are. 

IF you are like me, you will be working on putting emotions in check this week. 

Love and Light!

Ivy Out

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life

ignorance isn’t a plea…

I am both confident and convenced that some use ignorance as a safety blanket. 

(Got to the punch fast, huh?) I was supposed to share this on Saturday, when it was first given to me, but that didn’t happen. It was actually confirmed before my eyes by the end of Sunday night. People have but to ASK God for wisdom to receive it. We know by reading James 1:5. Very plainly stated… ask for wisdom. So why are some still not wise? I believe it was Maya Angelou, or Marguerite Ann Johnson, who said “when you know better you do better.” I think the crowd in question chooses to hide behind the speculation of whether or not they know. Instead of getting closer to the safety zone…they play hop scotch on the “danger zone line”. Then when asked about their acts of foolishness, or comments, they claim ignorance. This is NOT court, this is life. If you take F out of life you get LIE. If you take Faith, Feeling, and Future out of LIFE you get LIES… what people tell to feel good about themselves…

Yes, I know this is heavy and late. It had to come out of me before I entered Monday. Ask for wisdom. Act wisely. Walk with the wise. Be better for it.