relationships – Andonnia's Truth

Real Attraction

This is a lesson that I have learned about attraction based on people I have never physically met. Well I met some, but much later than the original connection. Why do I point that out, because I don’t need anyone trying to figure out if I am talking about people who are currently in my life or those who populate my past. While this applies to them as well, I really do mean people that I have gotten to know prior to meeting in person. I am grateful for it too.

For me, the initial look is going to give you some data. Is this person aesthetically pleasing TO ME, yes or no. If the answer is yes, it encourages me to want to know more about that person. In the beginning it’s very surface and shallow as far as the ocean analogy goes. What does their voice sound like, how their day is going, their likes/dislikes. But then, the tug for attraction moves into who the person is on the inside. The more I know the more the attraction is validated or not supported. What do I mean by that… when we first find ourselves attached to someone, we tend to gloss over little things. Sometimes those little things end up mattering more than we initially gave it credit for. If a person is aesthetically pleasing on the outside and rotten internally, I want a refund for the time I spent viewing the outside. I am being silly, but I am 100% serious. The physical attraction could also be invalidated by misalignment. That person can be phenomenal and still be ill matched for me. This is a concept I wish people would gravitate to more. Quit casting people into categories because they aren’t a good fit for you. Realistically most people shouldn’t be… You don’t need a million, you need your person.

Social media has granted access in a way that was foreign before. People are able to reveal or create whatever version of themselves that they want to be shown/seen. Here’s the rub, so can we. What then becomes difficult, or a daunting task, is sifting and sorting the sugar from the salt. Your eyes can’t do that. You have to experience each grain in order to sort them. Hence, experiencing more of the WHO and not the packaging. The advances of the day make the exterior a variable. That inside though, that requires a different kind of work to change. Some people don’t even think there is a need to change. THAT is what validates the attraction, the stuff on the inside.

The Taj Mahal is BEAUTIFUL. It’s also a giant tomb. Look at people. Really see them. See yourself. Know what you know. Investigate and search until you sort salt from sugar for self. Weigh your attraction by that.

IVY OUT

Relationships: students, tutors, and teachers

Yesterday in my car, as I often do, I began some heavy thinking. The forty-five minute drive that I make calls for some good music and lots of heavy concepts.

I was in somewhat of an introspective mood when the following analogy came to me:

A student can’t teach because they are occupied with learning.
A tutor can assist because they have grasped the concepts, but they aren’t solely responsible for disseminating new information.
A teacher is responsible for seeding and planting new information into students and tutors. They are given this responsibility because they have the curriculum.

Now it can be translated and inserted into several scenarios, but I was thinking about relationships. Two people who are learning the same lesson can neither teach nor tutor each other. They are two blind people walking closely together for protection and safety. Some of us have learned from certain lessons, and now they don’t repeat in our lives. From this standpoint, you might be able to tutor someone in a lesson you’ve already learned. You do this with caution and understanding if you are humble enough to remember how it felt to grow through that lesson. The teacher, is the only one who knows exactly how, what, and when. The teacher in a relationship is GOD. If you attempt to teach what you don’t know, you are just talking a lot of crap. People have learned, through creative writing and flowery analogies, to dress up crap. I don’t care how bad you want to be the expert in your personal relationship, God knows more than you. Now yes, I am studying marriage. Yes, as an occupation I will help fortify marriages and couples. Yes, I read books, but GOD is the ultimate teacher. He gives increase to what we plant.

So don’t confuse tutoring with teaching. That Holy Spirit nudging in your spirit is the guide that is warranted. No, you don’t always get your way, what teacher does that? Not one. Teachers have autonomy in their classrooms, they control the ebb and flow.

Puts a different spin on learning, doesn’t it?

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