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life

Moment…

So, grief seems to be an all to familiar topic of discussion lately. 

SUPERDad has been a citizen of heaven now for seven months. 

I live everyday knowing he isn’t here. I have moments. I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t feel it, I do. 

  
I saw a movie today (90 Minutes in Heaven) and I saw my father instead of the actor on the screen. Not because my dad was in a wreck, but because my father was in a very dire state when he arrived in Houston. Each Doctor that spoke to me kept repeating how sick my father was. Sir(s), talk to me about answers and solutions. We did. But I was the first family member in Houston to speak to my dad before brain surgery. He not only made it through, but he did it as only a SUPER HERO COULD! However, the scene was too much.  I left the room and went outside because I didn’t want everyone to see the meltdown. And a meltdown it was. Almost to the point of nausea. These moments suck badly. However, it’s a part of the process. I recognize that. 

I didn’t write this because I need or want anyone to feel sorry for me. In essence, I want to confirm for many that grief is a chameleon that doesn’t have a mold. 
Now, what to do when you know someone is mourning or grieving? Be up during up times and support during down moments. Don’t look for a prescriptive antedote. Just BE. I thank God for those who support me. I thank God for those who have shared in this experience and shared love with me. 

You never get over those who tattoo their very life into your heart. However, you can live through it. You can live from moment to moment. My moment was difficult, but I called my cousin. I called someone I knew could help me shake the moment. It worked. Sometimes the only thing you could do, is be who you are. 

Tonight was a moment. It came and has gone. I will remember the good things that my father taught me. I will cherish all of the great smiles, lessons, and love he shared with me. I will live through life. When the next moment comes, I will go through it too. No matter where I am. 

I can smile again. 

Merry CHRISTmas.
Ivy Out

By Andonnia

I am the King's daughter. I am my parents' daughter, a godmother, an aunt, a niece, a sister, a soror, a listener, a hearer & doer, a philanthroservant, a writer, a student, a teacher, a live-right enthusiast, a fail forward live-er, a business woman, a woman after God's heart! ~iLove~

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