Author: Andonnia

I am the King's daughter. I am my parents' daughter, a godmother, an aunt, a niece, a sister, a soror, a listener, a hearer & doer, a philanthroservant, a writer, a student, a teacher, a live-right enthusiast, a fail forward live-er, a business woman, a woman after God's heart! ~iLove~

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life

Have you ever been afraid to pray?

Disclaimer: If you are the type of person who has it all together, this post IS NOT for you. 

I don’t care how churchy, save or sanctified, fire filled, or pristine you may feel… honesty is necessary to read this post. I have experienced something a couple of times this year. I was afraid to pray. Not because I shun time with the Father, heavens no. I was afraid of the testing that comes after you have been in an encounter with God. You know when your spirit is full, your faith is on, your face is smiling, you feel good…and then…something begins to happen to that foundation you started with.

SEVERAL times this year, especially last school year, I would enter a mind numbing worship experience with the Lord. I would cry out in prayer from the very bottom of my soul. I’d pour out every bit of life I had, into the worship. I would “lay it on the throne” if you would. I would get to work with my spiritual armor on, right. Why then, did I NOT expect a battle? When I got to work stuff went “bad”…and fast. Today wasn’t detrimental, but it was not harmonious. Normally, things would continue to spiral downward until I was a puddle of “has been” on the floor. Not today. While I was still physically shaken, I remembered my time with BIG God. Adjective needed. I held on to the hope that the God that protects me, was still on duty. I am thankful that God doesn’t sleep. 

….regrouping. Realizing that your faith will be tested comes with the wisdom that you’ve got to be ready. Today, for two seconds, I almost regretted that test.

Know that THIS teacher always has the end in mind. God knows how strong you are, even when you don’t. He is not done with any of us. HE sustained me, He will sustain you as well. 

Pray. Worship. Fellowship with the Master. Then remain on alert. Shout victory early!!

 

Ivy Out

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Categories
life

Changes will come…

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I thought I knew, kind of, what my fall would look like. I told God that I trusted Him to lead me. My plans pail in importance and comparison to His will. Yesterday, I received a phone call that may have altered my year. Today was part two of that confirmation. Part three will be solidified by Friday. God, it is well with me. 

Keep Reading… This weekend will be full of updates! 

(Oh and to respond to the recent political happenings: My example is Jesus. i love everyone, I don’t agree with everything.) 😉 

Ivy Out

Categories
life

TEST

Let me tell you something, I AM NOT AS STRONG AS PEOPLE THINK!

This weekend, I cried and threw a fit in front of Jesus, hear me?

No, really,I cut up. In my truck, my study, my living room, on the way to “sleep”, I cried and mumbled some grumbling to the Father. Some confusion came up that was reminiscent of my past. I wanted to do something stupid, that AIN’T God. Luckily, two ladies in my inner circle kept me grounded. They reminded me who my God IS. How, powerful is great counsel?!?

My Pastor teaches against isolation when you are under attack. What is my old pattern? Seclusion and sulking. My girls kept me from doing that. Progress made me call them. Sometimes, I am pseudo paralyzed by the issues that have come up in the past. One is: “not being good enough”. Pastor Jamaal Bryant came to my church and preached that sermon, my Pastor- Terence H. Johnson – mentioned it on Sunday, and it appeared in Saturday’s devotion via Joyce Meyer. The enemy is slick… He attempts to cloud you with memories to divert you from the future. YOU (I AM) ARE GOOD ENOUGH!!

If you have experienced this, or know someone who is, be Godly counsel for them. Remind them of how BIG God is. The same God who (insert previous victories) came through before. It helps. Yes, I threw my fit, but when I surrendered to the Father…He answered swiftly. How sweet is that?

You can’t change anyone but yourself. Pray that God reveals areas of improvement in YOU. He can change us all. He’s working on me.

IVY OUT

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life

Relationships: students, tutors, and teachers

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Yesterday in my car, as I often do, I began some heavy thinking. The forty-five minute drive that I make calls for some good music and lots of heavy concepts. 

I was in somewhat of an introspective mood when the following analogy came to me:

  • A student can’t teach because they are occupied with learning.
  • A tutor can assist because they have grasped the concepts, but they aren’t solely responsible for disseminating new information.
  • A teacher is responsible for seeding and planting new information into students and tutors. They are given this responsibility because they have the curriculum.

Now it can be translated and inserted into several scenarios, but I was thinking about relationships. Two people who are learning the same lesson can neither teach nor tutor each other. They are two blind people walking closely together for protection and safety. Some of us have learned from certain lessons, and now they don’t repeat in our lives. From this standpoint, you might be able to tutor someone in a lesson you’ve already learned. You do this with caution and understanding if you are humble enough to remember how it felt to grow through that lesson. The teacher, is the only one who knows exactly how, what, and when. The teacher in a relationship is GOD. If you attempt to teach what you don’t know, you are just talking a lot of crap. People have learned, through creative writing and flowery analogies, to dress up crap. I don’t care how bad you want to be the expert in your personal relationship, God knows more than you. Now yes, I am studying marriage. Yes, as an occupation I will help fortify marriages and couples. Yes, I read books, but GOD is the ultimate teacher. He gives increase to what we plant. 

So don’t confuse tutoring with teaching. That Holy Spirit nudging in your spirit is the guide that is warranted. No, you don’t always get your way, what teacher does that? Not one. Teachers have autonomy in their classrooms, they control the ebb and flow. 

Puts a different spin on learning, doesn’t it? 

Categories
life

The calm in change…

How special your view is. The frame in which you take something in. Transitions, and seasons of change, often usher in a spirit of …uncertainty. A certain nervousness can come over you because you can’t see around the corner.  Newsflash, we don’t see grown children the moment they are born, we don’t know what we will be like when we get older, and although we have a calendar – we don’t know that tomorrow is coming until it arrives.  

 

With that being said, In four days, my life will officially change again. God is up to something, and while I have front row seats – I’ll be sure to share. 

Don’t loose sleep over change, amp up dreams!

Ivy Out

Categories
life

Outlook

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Just yesterday I received a call – a prayer warrior I know passed from cancer. Let me temper that with the fact that I didn’t even know the lady was sick. We used to be very active in a joint venture and she regularly led a prayer call I used to “attend” in the wee hours of the morning. I believe she was under 55, but I know she was under 60. Perspective! My work issues, relational questions, and personal woes seem like nothing while her family is dealing with grief.

While there are seasons for everything, I value the triumphs that I’ve celebrated in my tender twenty-nine years. I have been blessed to see faith at work in my life. My pastor has been reiterating something that hit me recently. When reading about Jesus’ miracles you often read : “According to your faith, be it unto you.” (OR something simular to it.) It’s your faith that can unleash doors or inhibit the savior. One poor city was filled with unbelievers and there Jesus could do no miracles. Am I saying the Almighty has flaws? No, I’m saying WE do. We, human flesh, bearers of choice, made in his image but with sin as a fatal flaw, we make errors. I make them, and if you are honest, you too can count a few. Yet, when we get phone calls like the one I received, you don’t see your hurdles as harshly as you might have.

If you having a hard time, begin to shift your thoughts to the things you can be grateful for. If it gets so bad that you can’t readily think of something to be grateful for, start with life. Begin to thank the Father that you are alive and that you have the activity of your limbs. Maybe you are ill, you have the faculties of mind necessary to read this. Maybe its the comfort of family or friends, or even a pet, but find something to be grateful for. When you spend time dwelling on THAT, it helps to change your perspective. (and today, that is where we will end our focus for this blog…)

 

Ivy Out

Categories
life

Home!

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Something great happened today… I was at home. 

If you know me, you know I have been carrying around two calendars. The current calendar ends in June and I have July and August clients already. It’s a new habit I’ve been working on – physical and electronic calendars. Unfortunately, It gives the appearance that I’m always busy. The truth is, I have more down time than people think because this is transition season. I can’t tell you that I know all of what is happening, but I’m ok with that. (FAITH)

Contrary to popular belief. I don’t always get my way. When I do, it’s not always what I want. I know that may sound crazy, but it’s the truth. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes I think I know what I want, and when I don’t get it I’m not happy about it. That’s life. It doesn’t kill me or slow me down. God is still growing me, and I’ve matured a lot, but there are areas that…um…don’t mature as fast. So while I am a maturing young woman, there are still little girl desires that I have to tame. 

In my eyes, I have a long way to go. I truly am transparent. I am an open book to God and a clear chapter for other audiences. I tapered down to chapters because I can only share what I know. The Almighty has seen my past and my future.

As I cooked via recipes today, which I don’t do often, I thought about being able to plan meals for my family. I’m actually quite excited about the prospect of cooking for a family. It was time consuming, meticulous, and it altered the day’s plans, but it was worth it. I cherish days like today, because this season is one of change. I have no clue what’s around the corner, but in my view… everything is going to be ok. 

When it looks like you have no idea where you are going, be certain that God is up to much! Special prayers to two traveling missionaries! Ashley Randolph (my cousin) and EbonyJanice (my sister and friend) are both traveling to different parts of Kenya this summer. They both are going to impact in a major way. Empowering, giving light to leadership, and teaching are their targets. May God continue to pour into them that they may pour out. Will you join me in lifting them up in prayer?? 

So many great things happening, I am grateful for them all. 

Ivy Out

Categories
life

In the midst of noise…

Pray. Honestly, cry out to God as if He was facing you. You are an open book to God, but Philippians 4:6-7 says make your requests known. So tell them to God. It’s better told to him…than some people/social media/cell phone receivers/etc…

My favorite part of that passage: THEN YOU WILL EXPERIENCE GOD’S PEACE!

That’s the goal. It makes the process bearable.

Shalom,

Ivy Out

Categories
life

POSITIVE BEGETS POSITIVE

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Have you ever looked up, attentively, and realized that you were surrounded by support? 

It is a magnificent feeling, to realize that the people around you want the best for you. I just want to take a moment to encourage you to thank the people who support you. It’s not always easy to stick through thick and thin, but there are those who do. Share your gratitude with them, because it may be what they need to keep moving forward. 

 

Never assume the strong are invincible.

Ivy Out

Categories
life

Rest and Reflections

I want my words to make an imprint on the world.

I would like to be remembered as someone who made a difference. I would like to help change poverty status for someone which increases the chances their child will graduate from high school. I’d like to leave a legacy in every child that I met, and for my motto to ring in their ears. As a classroom teacher I would engrain into my students the following: “I expect the best, there are no exceptions.” I didn’t expect someone else’s best, just their personal best. This year, I just prayed that a seed would stick in good ground.

As I encounter adults, I pray that I can be light to them as well. I pray that I can smile at someone who hasn’t received one that day. I can hug one more person. I can give one more donation. I can spend one more minute volunteering. I can serve one more, feed one more, gift one more, affirm one more. I just want to be a blessing. That will make me successful.

When I get my degree, this next feat, I want to save families – one at a time. I might not be a super hero who is capable of taking the world by leaps and bounds. I might not be perfect, because no one is. I might not be the richest in the world, but I will amass my little into longevity. I might not be the model to some, but I will be beautiful and healthy because I value what God has given me. I will leave my mark by being intentional. I will be intentional with people and with my time. I will cherish days – good and bad. I will remember. I will launch forward. I will kiss babies, and sing to bellies. I will nurture. I will love. I am.