Category: life

I can’t force what isn’t there. I want to invite you to stick with me on this journey. There are shifts taking place in my mindset, perspective, in my faith, and in my schedule.

Isn’t life a constant state of change?

If change were easy, we would call it something else. We would call it something more specific to a pleasurable experience, however sometimes change is uncomfortable.

Sometimes the labor pains, that bring forth a beautiful birth, create a new level of anguish. New mothers can tell you the feelings leading up to birth can be a mental and physical stretch, simultaneously. However, when the birthing process has produced its purposed fruit, your attention shifts from the pain to the purpose of the pain. Are you in a birthing place? Are you in the place where something from unchartered waters is coming forth? When you have no prototype, you are in a blind situation. That blindness in the natural should prompt you to see through spiritual eyes. Can you drive your faith into unchartered territory and allow your spiritual GPS to get you to the destination? (Stick to the visuals, they are purposed, lol)

We can choose the flight that we need to take to get to a particular location. We can determine how much we are willing to pay (sacrifice), what location from which we will depart (planning), how many bags we will bring with us (preparation), and even what type of experience we EXPECT to have by purchasing upgrades on the ride (education and experience). We can’t take everything with us on these trips, so the preparation also includes a purge, a detox of stuff that shouldn’t be carried on our journey. You can’t take every one, every thing, every past experience, every emotion, or even every old plan with you on this journey. There is a limit. If you break that limit, your fee increases (more sacrifice). You see, you can determine, via your choices, to carry extra weight and extra sacrifice. However, EVEN when you have done all you can do, there is something (change) that is out of your control.

You don’t control who pilots the plane. That is established before you decided to board. Because God knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11). You can’t choose the air flight personnel that are positioned to provide resources and renewing resources on your journey. You don’t know how many people God ALREADY has assigned to this leg of the journey to bless you (Hebrew 13:2, Psalm84:11).  And finally, you have ZERO control over the turbulence that is going to come during the journey (hurdles, issues, confusion, problematic circumstances)(John 15:20).  While you experience this turbulence from the position of your seat on the plane, you have a pilot (God) who knows how to handle and get you through the turbulence.

So you see while change isn’t always comfortable, it is always necessary. If we trust God to pilot the plane, feed the faith that produces the new “baby”, and transition in seasons, then we will see the NEXT with the same clarity of sight that we see the NOW. Two things in life are constant: That which is born will die, and things will change. Seek the lesson and not the loss, seek the peace that surpasses all understanding, and seek the blessing of the next.

Let’s go higher.

Ivy Out.

Can I ask you an honest question?

When was the last time you had a conversation with God about you?

I mean, I am not asking you to stop interceding for others… I AM asking when is the last time you went to the Creator about His creation. When is the last time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable in the presence of Christ?

Social media, the Internet, reality television, and pop culture dictate lifestyles that photoshop reality so much that you can’t tell what’s genuine and what’s not. We celebrate filters and raise eyebrows at blemishes or standards of beauty that do not reflect a what’s popular. We police unwritten rules and mask love with likes, views, and follows.

Have you gone before Daddy and just laid yourself before Him? Do you realize that He knows? HE KNOWS what you can take and what will break you. He knows what you hide in your heart. There isn’t a filter He can’t see through. Nothing we speak from our lips can hide our hearts from Him. I urge you, to literally fall before Him.

Humility – meekness – Jesus talked about it?? Don’t believe me… check out Matthew 5:3-10. Know that He is waiting. God created the kind of forgiveness that we need to both give to others and accept for ourselves. Know that you aren’t too messed up for God to receive you.

Spend time with Him. It’s liberating. It’s healing. It’s time.

IVY OUT

Listen… there is a truth that no one really explained to me when I was little. Or maybe, I just didn’t want to listen, that’s 100% possible. I guess, in hindsight, I thought adults had this vault of goodness that they wanted to keep away from children, as if the game involved a magical key that they threw to one another, away from me. It’s a myth. All of it. The truth is: ADULTING IS HARD. Growing up is distinctly differently from growing wider (which I have done), and growing older (which we all do).

This weekend, I had the distinct honor and privilege of vending with my mother. Insert catchy instrumental tune, “She get it from her momma”. While there, people bought stuff, yay! That’s good news. However, the things that are even more important are the hugs, hands shook, and people that touched me. Not in the creepy, call the police way, but in the proverbial sense. One that resonates with me is an author that I will name later. She gave me her elevator speech about her published pieces, moving the writer to author-status, but we then transitioned to how I related to her. I’m a writer. Technically, I am an author. As much as I don’t chronicle appropriately, I have been published in at least two anthologies of poetry, I have published my own book of poetry – thanks to my editor and friend Ebony, and I am even a published author of a scholarly peer-reviewed-article. So, I qualify for the word author, however, I normally stick to writer. I blog, right? J Once I realized that the conversation had shifted because as an author I related to her, I’d tattled on myself. She has also published an anthology, that I am excited about picking up. She expressed the desire to publish more, and this is where the footing slipped for me. This particular author, who holds a Juris Doctorate, is a mother, and clearly and author, wasn’t accepting my “I don’t have time”. In my defense, technically I don’t. There are at least five things that demand 100% of my time, currently. If you do the math, it’s humanly impossible. But with God…

I agreed to send her a “chapter” from an unfinished project that I have stored on my laptop. I actually started the project in 2008 or 2009 and then stumbled across it a year or two ago. I vowed to finish it, and still plan to, but the way this doctorate program of mine is set up. I no longer have the same creative mind. The voice in the files, compiled for the book, is now different. I have spent the last seven years, and two programs, attempting to write academically. Stifling the figurative language laced flowery writing that I love so much. I dare say that my voice is still present in my blogs, but the point is, it’s still different. The other glaring reason the voice is different is because I am different. The one who spoke in poetry, in a regular conversation, isn’t quite in love like she once was. While I have decided to operate in love, because He first loved me, isn’t in the same place. I now realize that love serves many purposes in life. I don’t know that I will ever “sound” like her again.

I had to grow up. Insert frown. Adulting. Has anyone coined that term officially yet? I’d pay for that. It get’s real out here. Authentic. Working to pay bills, so one day I can live without worrying. Investing in myself by achieving. Serving, because that’s why I am in the position I am in, my purpose is serving others. Walking out my own salvation and having plenty of conversations with Christ along the way. Like, “Lord really? You want me where now”. My real life journey has encountered things I wish came with redo’s or rebates, but I am grateful for each breath I take.

Talking to that author, and engaging books, reminds me that there is much left to do. But, let’s be honest about this adulating thing as we encounter young people. We can make no excuses, because they don’t matter. We have to keep living. The alternative is to start dying, and I am not signing up for that class. Yes, one can argue that we start dying after the first breath. However, I am not living to die. I am living to live. Each and every day and night gifted to me comes with responsibility. It comes with possibility. It morphs perspective. And I guess I am finally seeing that although it’s hard, this adulting thing may indeed have privileges. Maybe I’ve finally caught the key.

More on the author later…

Ivy Out

Can I be real about something? (Insert a picture of me patiently waiting…) I am so far from perfect that I believe we live on different planets…literally. The last perfect being that walked this earth ascended before our current set of years (get it, After Christ’s Death… even though anno domini means “in the year of the Lord”).

So when I speak about my Christian walk, someone else’s walk, or life in general I do so with a lens of GRACE.

That’s what Jesus’ sacrifice afforded us. Wrapped in our salvation, with a bow of “Never Would Have Made It…” and sprinkled with “Just For Me….” confetti, is the ability to extend grace. You see, we are disciples of Christ, as believers. Therefore, we have an example of what is supposed to happen. If ANYONE’s salvation was predicated on me being crucified for them, we are all going to hell. Because, (insert lonnnng dramatic pause) I couldn’t do it. Jesus KNEW why He came to earth. He did what the Father sent Him here to do, KNOWING. Can you stop and digest that for a second. Really. Think “garden of Gesthsemane”… somewhere around Mathew 26:36. Sweating blood before He shed His blood. That’s heavy. Just literally, imagine the weight of the world. I am SO glad, that Abba Father didn’t ask me to go. I don’t qualify, but stay with me here.

With all of that out there… can we talk about fruit for a second? No, not the kind you eat, because I don’t. Eat fruit that is. Those who know me personally, know that if you see me eating fruit it’s either life of death. Life because I am pregnant, or a requirement so that I don’t die. Thankfully, neither of those are upon me, so I stay away from the stuff (sans juice or avocados….I actually like them now). The fruit I am referring to is the character displayed, integrity deployed, and the stuff that speaks of you when your name comes up in the minds, hearts, and mouths of others. While we can’t determine what people’s motives are when they speak of us, we can control what we project.

WHAT DO YOU GIVE PEOPLE TO TALK ABOUT?

If you are operating with fruit that looks like the Tree, something ought to be different about you. Jesus Christ was NOT the status quo. He was not the common, or the normal, or the conformist. So… you probably won’t be either. The world may not agree with you honoring marriage vows, or being kind, or loving people who aren’t like you…but isn’t that what our Savior taught us? While I am grateful for the ability to instantly connect with loved ones, flirt every now and again, share awesome messages or artwork (shout out to http://www.annlettered.com), and look up news for my cable-less life, sometimes I can’t stand the internet. YES, I SAID IT. The internet has turned up the “I don’t measure up to so-and-so” comparison problem. The internet makes you think that cuffing season has an off season…

(sips ice water)

For the believer, you should always be about the business of love. Singles… love God and love people. Married people… love God, your Spouse, and people. Is that love the same? Nope. But is it relevant? Yup! I could like insert appropriate scriptures here… but you can also head over to www.google.com and google them. Yup. There’s that internet again. Because if I say use the concordance, how many people know what in the world I’m talking about?

Being kind. It’s not innate people. You have to work at being kind. We find it easy to be kind to people who reciprocate it, and horribly difficult to be kind to people who don’t deserve it by our standards. That’s not Bible. Or how about endurance. I am the first to say that my job weaves frustration in to my life for several reasons and seasons every year. That drive to pray for and look for a way out comes up…often. However, I know good-and-well how much my prayers will be answered with a NOT YET if I haven’t completed the assignment I was sent here to complete. Therefore, I am to endure. My job is actually pretty sweet on most days. The days when it’s tough, I have to think about the fruit I bear. If I remember who I am following, I can hold on to the Vine that gives me strength. Yes… insert “that was real churchy”, or cliché, or whatever you want to categorize it as, because it’s my truth.

Our fruit should indicate similarity to the tree we come from. Like it or not, we all resemble something.

Go love today. Extend Grace. Like, Comment, and Share.

Ivy Out

There is a lot of truth in the Word of God. Some of that truth we never read. Some of that truth we ignore. (AND…..insert pregnant pause) SOME truth, we hold others to a level of expectation that we don’t follow through with. James 5:16 (AMP) states the following:

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God – it is dynamic and can have tremendous power].”

Sounds amazing when you are the one needing to confess. You want to call that confidant or prayer partner, or for some of us – the person who will listen most of the time, and lay your heart on their proverbial therapy couch. I would interject that you add some discernment to the person you choose to air out to. Proverbs 27:17 says iron sharpens iron, not aluminum sharpens iron. You’ll get that in your lunch time meditation. Let it develop….

Furthermore, when it is our turn to be the intercessor, some of us don’t conveniently have any time, even if you agree to pray for that person as they ask. Let’s do a heart check, we all fall short. This verse reminds us of a couple of R.N.A. (Right Now Applicables… because I love acronyms)

1. People confess to you for healing. Are you REALLY ready to be a block to that?
2. You may be confessing today, and listening tomorrow. Life happens in seconds.
3. The prayers of the RIGHTEOUS can accomplish much. Seems like this should spur us to want to be righteous. THOSE believers have power. THOSE believers can get a prayer through.
4. Prayer is a conversation with God. You talk AND listen.

I pray this stirs in your system as either confirmation, or correction. Be blessed!

Ivy Out

There is point in your life when you just stop making excuses

You look at things as they are without need to justify or defend

They are this way

This is not the way they will always be

My schedule will not always feel ridiculous because of school

One day it will be filled with busy good mornings

Prepped clothes and coffee mugs

It will be filled with the pitter patter of little feet

And the shuffling of slippers and dress shoes

One day… my day will be filled with family

So I will stop, now, complaining about a schedule that

Accepts no apologies

I will stop now, wondering when it will change

Because NOW, I have to manage even my time better

Now I have to make nights count

Because wife and mother are twenty four hours every day

Now I will control nutritional craves

Because I will have to teach by example

Now I will straighten and clean

Bleach and wash

Because one day, it will be up to me to steward my family

I will encourage myself

Because when he’s having a bad day, I might be having one too

But I’ll cover him anyway

Just like now, I cover him

I don’t know that I have met him

But I pray for him

Instinctively, because there is an alarm for it

I will do today what is preparation for today

Because what I do today

Blesses my tomorrow

Lord, please forgive me for complaining about blessings

That pile like burdens because sometime I mismanage time

Sometimes I mismanage emotions

But I will inhale gratitude and exhale praise

Because in the midst of all of this…

I am free to Live. Love. And write.

Ivy Out