I don’t just want to love you….I want to LIKE you too!

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I want to actually like my husband. 

I read as much as I can on marriage. My goal is to one day be in a God centered marriage and start a family. Over the years, I have attended several ceremonies, showers, and witnessed linage growth of loved ones and strangers. I have also consoled through divorce and separation proceedings, prayed through relationship break ups, and dried countless tears. The most disturbing phenomena that I have encountered while meeting the many people that I have in my short thirty years, is married people who don’t like each other. 

Heaven help us. Marriage, the ministry and the relationship, isn’t supposed to be a chore. You should LIKE the person you join with. It’s a bonding process. Two are to become one, not designed to separate. Society paints marriage like salad dressing. Two individuals who get shaken together to make one unit…until one settles out and they separate again.  I see marriage like the joining of two metals to form an alloy. The two metals, under fire, join and become a new thing. 

When it’s time to go before God in covenant (not convenience) I want to like and love the person that I bond with. I have enjoyed the presence of God via prayer today. Before I close my eyes today, I will pray for those who are married or entering marriage. I pray that spouses get back to a place of learning one another. I do not feel like anyone has arrived, so there is always more to learn. I will pray that God’s will for marriage is restored. That the wives will submit to a husband who submits to Abba. That the nasty stain of divorce is dissolved. That healing will take place in the home. 

The marriage is a strong foundation for the legacy of children. Our children either pick up where we left off, or start where we started. Lets increase the success by being the model. 





1 Peter 3:1-7

1Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.


During some studying today I came across this passage. IT FLOORS ME. Not that I haven’t read it before, but I am blown away by something underlined. Even if HE isn’t a believer of the word, HER behavior may win him over. 

There are a lot of shows on television that depict women as these overzealous, emotional extremists who do very little to exert or show self-control. There are males who base their impressions of a woman by what she says, but I employ women to begin showing who they are without saying a word. This is the “silence is golden” principle my grandmother used to teach me. 

It’s also very interesting with how this passage begins and ends. Verse one speaks to a women’s behavior (stemming from the word anastrophe which literally means “manner of life”) winning (kerdaino) the husband over to the kingdom. Making him a believer of the Word, of God, not by how loudly she speaks, but by the very way she lives. The beef in this hamburger is… the fact that it’s not the outer adornment but the inner beauty that holds the true value. No plastic surgeon is going to be happy with this blog. Funny thing, if I may, is realizing that our culture is asphyxiated on aesthetics that hold little value because it’s ever changing. The end of this passage, verse seven, ends with “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 

I want to pull something out for you: Respect the weaker partner as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. The amplified version reads this way: “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life” 

For those who would seem to thwart being called the “weaker vessel” I draw attention to the roots of the word according to Strong’s concordance. That being alpha the first letter of the greek alphabet (beginning) and sthenoō with means to strengthen. The first to strengthen… really God? So you mean like in Ephesians 5:26 when the husband is told to sanctify his wife, cleansing her and washing her with the word. This is a complete full circle for me. There is so much here that I am struggling with my verbiage so I don’t destroy the immense-ness of this passage.  To add to that… JOINT heirs of the GRACE OF LIFE.

seriously, I am on spiritual overload… then the VERY end “so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Might I submit food for thought here:

 Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good

and receives favor from the Lord.


There is favor attached to the marriage union. There is a hindrance of prayer when man steps out of what he was created to do. There are problems when women attempt to verbally change a man, or live in such a way that her inner beauty is stifled.


Today, I grew up.

 Ivy Out