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life

Grown Up. Not in age… in wisdom. Wisdom comes from God…

In this place, my default is worship. After realizing that I’ve been complaining about stuff only God can change, I stopped. Waking up and spending more time gathering things for others than self, finding the amazing framing of colors surrounding the dawn sky mesmerizing because only God can paint it that way, I realize that I am truly growing up. 

Not growing perfect. 

Not growing superior. 

Growing up. 

I can almost feel the scolding when I am thinking, walking, or talking wrong. Not that I’m at the “just don’t do it” phase all the time, but I know the chastisement is near. I can also feel the shifts as they roll in. I’ve felt the season changing for a while (blogged about it back in January) and today felt like fresh wind. It had some ups and downs because we now have four school days left, but the highs carried me into tonight’s worship. My alone time with God. It usually starts in the car because of long commutes, but it started in my classroom. I sat down to gather my things and started singing. Now if you know me, really know me, you know I don’t like to draw attention to my voice. However, I posted twelve seconds of this little song service. When I got in my vehicle, I turned on Pandora (to my Tye Tribbett station) and kept on singing. I cried all the way home. I parked and started shuffling in my car seat once I made it to the garage. 

Why am I sharing? Simple. You don’t need an audience of people to worship and praise God. I am NOT against corporate worship, but you should have the kind of relationship with your friend Jesus that you can just go to Him anywhere. IF not friend JESUS, then what about mother or father JESUS, brother JESUS, doctor or lawyer JESUS…. He is what you need. He answers prayers. Seriously. The suddenly type, the not right now type, and the confirm His Will and Word type, Jesus answers prayer. 

The beginning of my evening was just adoring Him. By the time I got home I was crying out to Him. I want Him to know, that I know, that He is my only solution…. He can heal my family. He can better my situation. He can direct my life. He can improve certain things about my job. He can FIX ME. He can… insert what you need the Lord to do. Just seriously bring it to Him. Unload it at your worship place. Let it all go into the hands of the Master. 

walk away lighter. 

Great Night.

ivy out.

Categories
life

Honest Hearts

Music has mood changing abilities. Isn’t it amazing that you can hear upbeat music and either smile or feel aggressive (depending on your taste). Or how you can walk into a yoga studio or to a spa…and non verbally laced tones will tickle eardrums and soothe your soul. Music can create an atmospheric change that wraps its arms around you like a cashmere sweater.

Music can also paint images of love on the back of your eyelids. The desire of most women…was the Cinderella love story. I don’t think I recalled dwelling on the “maid” conditions, the horrible temperament of the step mother, the jealously and envy of the sisters, or even the sadness of the absent from the body father, just the love story.

Do we as adults forsake the “other” part of a good love story. The background and foundational knowledge of personal growth. Do we miss the character building and etiquette of maturity? Could you imagine a violent Cinderella? Someone who blamed everyone for everything, was physically aggressive, and a bully? Conversely, what of a Cinder that would have turned back to rags in front of a heartless prince? One who had the audacity to verbally reprimand her existence. What then?

I thank God for maturity. For not pulling me out of this valley of singleness before I (or then soon to be suitor – or soon I hope, lol) was ready to meet each other. I still believe that fairy tales come true, because the story writer has my heart in His divine hands. The soundtrack in my heart is gratitude. The song on my lips is thanksgiving. The temperature of my essence paints “welcome” on the air I breath. I can hear the strings playing…

Ivy out!