Tag: Love

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life

#2017 Those I lost…

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2017 showed me the real truth when it comes to people’s season in my life. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 reminds me that there is a season for everything. And while I knew this before, when you start losing friends it’s hard to digest.

I have been privileged to have some A-MAZING people to come into my life and plant forever roots. I mean, they are literally there no matter how beautiful or ugly my life has gotten. They caught tears, bought art and tees, they broke bread with me, some of them even supported my financial drought. I mean, I thank God the people that refuse to leave me, no matter how long we go without speaking to each other. Let’s be real, with some of our schedules and the schedule’s schedule it’s a great deal of awesome to have friends that just pick up where you left off. Thank you Lord for allowing each of these people into my life, in their proper season.

I also thank God for those who came in, even though they left. This is hard to type. Some people existed my life this year. We no longer talk. We don’t DM, or text, or message, or video, or smoke signal, or passenger pigeon…nothing. Once, heavy communicators are now memories and archives. Letting go is just as important as receiving. It’s hard. It can hurt. It’s still a part of life.

becareful with your words

Some of the people that left my life were men, and it just didn’t work out. That doesn’t make them bad men. They just weren’t the right one for me. That’s ok. Thank God for the King of my heart. He validates that the Lord DOES HEAR MY PRAYERS…and He answers them too! Some of the people that exited were best friends. I am not happy that we no longer talk, but I still wish God’s best for you too. I pray that this next season for you all is the best yet. I am grateful for the memories we made. While you may not speak to me, I still love you. That’s the truth.

2017 taught me how to let go, in love.

God knew i needed you

Feature Number Two is my Sis LaToya.

I asked my sisters how God grew them in 2017.

I believe reflection is a gift from God. I am a woman who likes to journal. That includes anything from prayers to lists.  Now the beauty of this is in the reflection.  To go back and read some of my prayer requests and praise reports amaze me.  What surprised me is the amount of prayers in my journals that were not answered and the joy that I had that God blocked my requests not only to protect me but because He loved me. In particular,  there was 1 prayer request (will discuss later) that was repeated umpteenth times and it just got answered this year.  It took 7 years! Yep,  7 years for God to finally say Yes. What’s funny is I wasn’t waiting on God,  He was waiting on me.  God didn’t just grow me in 2017. It didn’t happen overnight. Have you heard the story of the Chinese Bamboo Tree? If you haven’t,  take a moment to visit this link and come back and finish reading… http://donmillereducation.com/journal/the-chinese-bamboo-tree/

Now that you have read up on the Bamboo Tree you can probably guess that I’m going to tell you, “I’m like the bamboo tree”. You see that prayer request from 7 years ago was for a husband.  Yep,  I was praying for a man y’all… and don’t act like you haven’t done it! Lol.  God didn’t answer until 12.17.17. 7 YEARS LATER. The number 7 represents completeness and perfection both physically and spiritually.  After 1 1/2 years of a Christ- centered courtship (abstinence until marriage,  relationship centered around Christ…we pray together and for one another) my love got down on one knee and asked me to be his forever as His wife!!!!! God is good y’all. Now let me tell you where the true reflection came in…. the CONGRATULATIONS on social media.  It was almost overwhelming. Everyone showing love and sending well wishes felt good but what really touched me were the private Facebook messages,  the texts and phone calls from those who really knew my journey up to this point…. those who knew and saw first hand the pain, hurt, prayer, faith and GROWTH that took over 7 years to get to this moment.

In order for God to have grown and blessed me with an answered prayer in 2017, I had to surrender in 2010, be obedient 2010-2017, be steadfast in prayer,  faithful in God’s word,  a believer in God’s promises and apply it to my everyday life.  God grew my senses. I ate on His word everyday and let me tell you,  NOTHING tasted better.  I read His word daily to make sure I could see Him working miracles. I listened to my Pastor preach sermons that seemed to be just for me… sometimes it was like fingernails scratching a chalkboard but more often than not; it was music to my ears. I would take walks in the park or lay out on a blanket to mediate and the smell of the fresh flowers and the feel of the breeze would remind me that God was always with me and would never leave me.  My roots are what grew most this year.  Deeper in connection with the source, God.  Dependence on Him changed my life. My Faith sprouted beyond what I could see or even imagine. Thoughts became praise reports before I could even make them prayers. A journal entry prayer request in 2010 GREW into a praise report in 2017. If you want God to grow you, you have to FIRST surrender and then the growth will be limitless.

A Grower in God,

LaToya

 

Categories
life

Pink Note, Treble and Bass

It’s been a long time since something could move me to a place of drifting so deep in art

That the hemoglobin in my veins take a back seat to this feeling

This place that I drift in

 wraps itself around me like a strait jacket

Long enough for me to stop fighting and just exist in one with where I am

It envelopes me long enough for me to realize that it’s familiar

I belong here

Justified in the brilliance of notes on staff, I intrude in on the conductor

I am a part of the music, the missing element in the symphony

I have become less of the rest and more of the stem on an eighth note

In conjunction with breathing

I hear

I feel

The music creating a stir in my vocal chords, lost in the beauty of sound

I speak words in tune, not quite singing yet

Some would call it poetry

It’s just the language I speak.

Hope that someone can interpret for the commoners

Or those common to English. This doesn’t have restrictions and rules

It just is.

I just am.

Present in this moment that I am breathing music. I am being music.

The melodic state of being.

Then something hits me.

It is the evolution of a key change. A game changer.

It’s love.

Love can make minor chord clashes seem like symbols

Staccato glitter sprinkled among the staff like the beauty of shattered glass

Reflecting amber light from dawn

It’s a beginning.

Love can color music and paint pictures that even those with untrained eyes can see

Defying logic, love even makes science bearable.

Unapologetic and without permission, it invades space and time

Love is a continuum of life

Opposite of existing, it springs to, in and through all who are willing

For the unable, it disables their ability to analyze until it is acknowledged

This place is familiar because I was created here.

I create here

He who makes beautiful things out of us purposed me for this place

No seatbelts or safety precautions

No limitations of negotiation necessary

I have fallen with no need to feel the foundation of someone else’s ground

I can forever drift here

I can exist here

I can cast my ballot for permanent citizenship in a place where colors burst

From executed staffs that govern many instruments

On the canvas of my eyes and glitters sparkles over the dash

The pace between birth and return

Home.

-PhoenixSole

Special love and adoration sent to a friend whose notes won’t leave my head and the short story “I Wish I Was a Poet” by the late and great Alice Childress. 

Ivy Out.

 

Categories
life

FORWARD MARCH!!

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Pst… YOU! Yes, Y O U: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

 

I just realized that I never greeted my awesome readers in 2014! I won’t get into the awesomeness that is double seven, any new catch phrases, or even the newest cliche’, I will just tell you that I feel good. I know that the attacks have come, but my faith is in the ONE who can calm seas! The new year often brings new hope and joy to people who are burnt out or worn. It can also create the turn of a new season. Education takes a much needed break, and adult and children alike are allowed to rest. Even the government allows for down time. Then the new year, one week later, is celebrated. Whether you gathered in churches or secular parties and festivities, we greeted the new year with smiles and light hearts. Remember that feeling. Let it carry you with positive thoughts and expectations. 

For you who are new to my blog, I am unapologetically Christian. I am no where near perfect, and I don’t seek to condemn. On the contrary, it is my desire to uplift and enlighten. In this seat, I am both a writer and an open book. I pour out all I have to anyone who will read it. Here I cry, smile, scream, sing, talk, love, and share. I hope that you will both love your time here, and share it with others. 

In keeping with my core – 3Cs – I will be writing at LEAST once a week. That is my promise to you. If you catch me slipping, CALL ME ON IT! I am empowering you!

Ivy Out

Categories
life

I bet you think this blog is about you. . .

Thoughts can easily take over a woman’s mind. They can start with sensory stimuli and them morph into a body of its own. Thoughts can become fire breathing dragons that block out the sun (and any knights in shinning armor). That is, if you don’t slay the dragon.

Thoughts can cause cesspools to form on dry land in the middle of a Saharan drought. It only takes a second, and your life can begin to spin, with you smack dab in the middle.

What causes this? Your past, fear, doubts, former patterns of success (yes, success can cause whirl winds too), and thoughts of the future. The unknown can paralyze a giant. The Bible says without faith, it is impossible to please God. Well, I believe without faith, it’s impossible to be happy (and subsequently, control your thoughts). The Hebrews 11:1 definition of faith deals with the unknown. If we constantly worry about that which we do not control, how can we defeat the dragon?
Did I loose you? It’s ok, I’m random at times. The point is this, women are emotional. It’s in our fabric. Maybe with the additional rib, and womb, we received extra ability to emote. Emotions are powerful, and when applied correctly, they can prove useful. When emotions overtake thoughts, and that cancer begins to turn into the snowball that leaves us in shambles- we have a problem. Faith eliminates the opportunity for one to be overrun! Is it easy? Absolutely not! What in life, worth having, comes easy. If it were easy, men would understand women (and visa versa). If it were easy, there would be no need for wars or disputes. Taming the beast with faith means surrendering the thoughts that mule over your logic. It means trusting in the One whom you can not see, but surely feel.
No this blog wasn’t about anyone else. It’s a written reminder that I must continue to work at my faith. The many giants in front of me won’t back down. So I must fight to tame and then salt them. Do you fight dragons in your spare time too?

Ivy Out

Categories
life

Jesus is my Gray…

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All My Life: I have admitted that I had no gray area. I was a strait forward, black and white perspective holder. There was either hot or cold. Lukewarm didn’t sit well with me, consciously. However, as I type this, I remember things that I have done in my life that didn’t line up with the Bible’s black and white. The Bible does say that no one can serve two masters (Matthew 6:24), as well as not being Lukewarm (Revelations 3:15-16). My gray area was measured disobedience.

I knew that growing up, certain things you didn’t do. Your parents, grandparents, church members, pastors, even friends shed light on the “do’s and don’ts”. The problem was, I said stuff like, “I’ll do it when I get older”. (am I the only one who will admit that?) I was saying I would live right when I got older. I didn’t want the responsibility or the challenge. (This was very bad thinking.)

I was the good girl who was made fun of for being a good girl. I tried to do things, in both high school and college, to push the envelope. Nothing permanent, but I wanted to have fun too. CAN YOU SAY BACKFIRE? It never worked. NEVER. I got into trouble with my parents, once with the school for a dress code violation, and most of all, I was disappointing my Heavenly Father. Let me also add, it was NEVER worth it. ::GRACE::

The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost never left me. They were not the intermittent gap filler for the convenience of my perspective, but my Bridge Over Troubled Water. For a new age spin on that, I submit the words of my former mentor/professor Dr. L. Alex Swan, They got into the water with me and helped me fix the waters.

I am so grateful that I wasn’t discarded because of my thoughts, actions, and consequences. PEOPLE throw PEOPLE away but GOD does not. Let’s ponder that. You mean to tell me, since the servant will never be greater than the Master, that certain flesh folks have the gall to do what the Lord will not?! Yes. I do believe once they are convicted of the Holy Spirit, they will reconsider, but I know it happens. The flesh is judgmental. It is. You can say out of your mouth, “don’t judge me” and it does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for the other person’s thoughts as they evaluate based on their experiences. Yes, we are all sinners, but we have not all experienced the same things. It is within THAT vein that value judgements are placed.

We have got to get better, yes we – includes ME, at forgiving and being accepting of the person. The behavior doesn’t have to be accepted. But do you remember Jesus breaking bread with the tax collectors? They were not the company that the religious leaders favored, but in love Jesus could accept the PERSON. Conversion never happens out of popularity. The greatest commandment, commands us to love God and love people. When we actually get to that…what a world this will be!

Ivy Out

Categories
life

Agape

Often people quote 1 Corinthians when it comes to love. Today I want to talk about a Mark 15 love. Agape love. The love of God. Jesus endured what I know I couldn’t have even considered. He didn’t do it because we deserve so much. He didn’t do it because we could offer enough to pay for our salvation. As a matter of fact, WE WEREN’T A CONCEPT YET!

When you consider loving someone that you feel hurt you, maybe was mean to you, or even a stranger, think of Mark 15. Mark’s gospel account of the crucifixion of Christ. You can do it, simply because Jesus was the example. He died and rose so we could love. Amen?

Ivy Out

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Categories
life

Merry Christmas!

Know that the greatest gift isn’t under a tree! Love on everyone you can…even the people who you think have no one. Love on THEM especially today.

 

Jesus came to save us! We can help lift someone’s spirits today!

 

Hugs, Love, Light to all today and everyday!

 

Ivy Out

Categories
life

Short N Sweet

I just wanted to blog, to the best of my ability, the fullness in my heart!

Yesterday, I was inundated with birthday wishes and love. I couldn’t have been more full. The few minutes that people took to wish me a happy birthday really meant the world to me!

When you invest a few minutes to seed into someone’s life… You can’t imagine it’s immense harvest!

“You can count the apple seeds you plant, but countless are the apple trees in the orchard.”

Ivy Out

Categories
life

Honest Hearts

Music has mood changing abilities. Isn’t it amazing that you can hear upbeat music and either smile or feel aggressive (depending on your taste). Or how you can walk into a yoga studio or to a spa…and non verbally laced tones will tickle eardrums and soothe your soul. Music can create an atmospheric change that wraps its arms around you like a cashmere sweater.

Music can also paint images of love on the back of your eyelids. The desire of most women…was the Cinderella love story. I don’t think I recalled dwelling on the “maid” conditions, the horrible temperament of the step mother, the jealously and envy of the sisters, or even the sadness of the absent from the body father, just the love story.

Do we as adults forsake the “other” part of a good love story. The background and foundational knowledge of personal growth. Do we miss the character building and etiquette of maturity? Could you imagine a violent Cinderella? Someone who blamed everyone for everything, was physically aggressive, and a bully? Conversely, what of a Cinder that would have turned back to rags in front of a heartless prince? One who had the audacity to verbally reprimand her existence. What then?

I thank God for maturity. For not pulling me out of this valley of singleness before I (or then soon to be suitor – or soon I hope, lol) was ready to meet each other. I still believe that fairy tales come true, because the story writer has my heart in His divine hands. The soundtrack in my heart is gratitude. The song on my lips is thanksgiving. The temperature of my essence paints “welcome” on the air I breath. I can hear the strings playing…

Ivy out!